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Income and level of education are well known to have an impact on parental beliefs, values and practices. Often people of the same socioeconomic status from different countries have more in common than people of different socioeconomic status within the same country.
It is difficult to consider the impact of socioeconomic status of immigrants on attachment beliefs, values, and practices, because immigrants' level of education and income level do not necessarily correspond. Many of the mothers interviewed have some level of post-secondary education, yet are living below the poverty line.
Contrary
to the expectation of a better life, immigrants and refugees often find
that their socioeconomic status lowers dramatically when they arrive and
for a number of years afterwards.
"I have been here for five years. I love here, the weather, the culture,
everything. But we always think 'Maybe we should go back'. Yes, we always
think about that. I think it comes with the obstacles that you find along
the way. Especially if you have a profession back home. A good job and
very good opportunities. And here, when you come, you realize, 'What am
I doing here?' You have to start from the bottom again. That's the hardest
part. And when the children come and you have to raise them, it's even
harder. Because you have to deal with the children and with the difficulties
that you are experiencing in your job."
(Program Participant, Edmonton, AB)
As a consequence, mothers talked about not being able to do some of the
things they wanted to do with their children, not being able to buy their
children what they wanted, and not being able to spend as much quality
time with their children as they wanted. They face these challenges because
of the lack of money, the need to work long hours, to look for work, or
to spend time being re-trained and/or learn English.
"There are many, many things that I would like to do. My children
see advertisements for things, and I can't afford to do them. There are
5 kids and 2 adults in my family. Even going out to dinner is too expensive."
(Program Participant, Toronto, ON)
"I have no money for what they want. I have no money for fun. Of
course it affects my relationship with my children! They're not happy.
They don't study, don't want to go school because kids make fun of them
for using second hand clothes."
(Program Participant, Vancouver, BC)
"My son needs more time than I can give him. All immigrants face
the problem of lack of time. [I have to figure out] how to establish a
strong relationship with my son in the relatively short time I have to
spend with him."
(Program Participant, Halifax, NS)
When mothers and families are poor to the extent that they have difficulty affording adequate food for their children, even such basic attachment practices as feeding their children are jeopardized. They may be unable to buy the ingredients for their children's favourite dishes, and thus can not demonstrate their love for their children by preparing their favourite dishes. Mothers try to explain their difficulties to their children and to compensate by demonstrating their love in other ways.
"We say 'We love you, but we don't have money to buy that for you.'
I sing for my daughter, play with her, talk nicely to her. I tell her,
'When I study English and get a job, I will buy things for you.' I hug
her and say 'I love you. I care about you but when I don't have money,
please understand me.' "
(Program Participant, Vancouver, BC)
They particularly regretted not being able to afford to go back to their
countries of origin to see family and enable their children to develop
relationships with their grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. Their
inability to go back to their countries of origin is often also related
to their immigration status in Canada.
"All of my family is in Iraq. I miss my mother, father, and brother
but can't afford to go back home to go see them."
(Program Participant, Vancouver, BC)
While many mothers face challenges due to poverty, immigrant and refugee
mothers are in a particularly difficult position. Their qualifications
and experience are not recognized in Canada but they cannot afford to
study and get qualifications that are accepted, particularly if they are
not eligible for government support because of their immigration status.
The high cost of child care adds to the cost of women studying to get
acceptable qualifications, especially if their partners are also in a
position of needing to be re-trained before they can secure employment.
"My husband has finished his studies but he is not working. He applied
for and tried to get work but he has not yet been successful. Because
of the lack of relatives, of family, you can't really leave your children
for childcare and go somewhere. Because of the cost of daycare, I can't
go out and study and upgrade myself to work."
(Program Participant, Toronto, ON)
In addition to the challenges of living in poverty and the systemic discrimination
inherent in the difficulty they face in obtaining jobs that match their
qualifications, immigrants also discussed the more blatant discrimination
and racism they face.
"Here you face racism in the workplace because you don't speak English
very well, or because of your accent you don't get a job. Even though
you are well qualified, maybe more than somebody else, but because you
don't have the language, the perfect language, you don't get the chance.
This is another way for you to struggle here."
(Program Participant, Edmonton, AB)
"At the beginning, the stress I had was that I had a two year old
girl, and my husband was studying, and I had to look for a job. As a new
immigrant, it was very hard for me to look for a job. Even though I got
my degree in Canada, ...and I speak English, they said, they will hear
my accent. At that time I don't know much about the system, the Canadian
system."
(Program Participant, Halifax, NS)
"People here are not friendly. And one thing, you know, what you
call it, racism. It happens to me often."
(Program Participant, Fredericton, NB)
The racism they face also has an impact on their children. Children may
see their parents, who are supposed to protect them and act as their role
models, demoralized. From the parents' perspectives, it is extremely challenging
to provide their children with a sense of security and self-esteem when
they are being treated as less than human. Further, women interviewed
clearly identified the fact that their children face racism and discrimination
in school, and that when they or their children try to do something about
it, they are not heard or validated.
"My son is being discriminated against in school. The teacher doesn't
listen to my son. The teacher says 'It's your imagination. That doesn't
exist here.' I say, 'No, that's what my child is saying. It's not my imagination.'
My son fought with another child because of racist comments he made against
him and the teacher kicked them out. Other children are hitting and bothering
my son. I volunteer at the school so I see it. When I tell the teacher,
she doesn't do anything. My child is scared to talk to the teacher. The
teacher says to him, 'You don't have to tell your mother what is happening
here. You tell me.' He says, 'I'm telling my mother because you don't
believe me.' The teacher tells me to leave him alone to resolve his problems.
I want the teacher to listen to my child."
(Program Participant, Vancouver, BC)
Parents who immigrated to Canada at a young age talked about their experiences
with racism as children, and the lack of support from their own parents
who may not have experienced racism as children themselves. As a result
their parents often did not know how to provide them with support when
they experienced racism, and they in turn did not learn strategies for
providing their children with support for experiences with racism.
"Canada is home but I still feel distant. We were the second Latin
family in Alberta. It was hard in school to be accepted. There were always
differences. It was a racial thing. I never questioned the actions of
my mum. She was really firm with us. I didn't have an attachment to society.
I was more affected by what she told us. I knew we were different from
them. But [it is hard not to feel] acceptance. People don't see your abilities.
My mother kept her challenges in integrating to herself. It would have
helped if my mother talked about it. She told us to ignore it."
(Program Participant, Edmonton, AB)
In addition to the challenges parents and families face due to poverty,
racism, and discrimination, the lack of validation of their effective
attachment practices in mainstream society can jeopardize newcommers'
ability to maintain those practices. As their self-esteem is diminished,
they may stop using effective attachment practices without replacing them
with equivalet alternatives. This has a detrimental effect on their relationships
with their children and threatens their children's secure attachment.
This threat is particularly acute when children going through the pricess
of migration and resettlement have a heightened need for their parents'
responsive care.
"The approaches used in parenting programs are patronizing. They
are about teaching rather than empowering us. Immigrants get instructions
on how things should be without consideration of cultural factors. It
is very destructive. It makes people believe they're doing something wrong
and that their parents did something wrong. Newcomers are trying to accommodate
giving up proven methods of bonding with their children. This creates
a gap in building a relationship between parents and children. If parents
don't manage to maintain a system of values within family, parents and
children go their separate ways. It causes alienation. Children by their
nature assimilate so they are accepted in the mainstream. They feel they
are different in a way and are trying to change the patterns they find
at home. This creates conflict. I myself fing it very difficult."
(Program Participant, Halifax, NS)
"Children take on stress, whatever the source of stress for parents
is...The sources of stress are different for parents, but the kids are
the ones who take it anyway."
"We don't
have parents and relatives to send children to when we are stressed. Our
kids go through the stress that we go through."
(Program Participant, Fredericton, NB)
When a family migrates, a child may experience her/his own stress while
at the same time their parent or caregiver is emotionally unavailable
due to the stress of the process of migration and resettlement. When a
child experiences too much stress or a relatively unavailable attachment
figure, this can lead to an internal representation of the environment
as dangerous and of the self and others as ineffective in moderating those
dangers. This might make a child fearful of exploration, uncertain of
availability of safety, doubtful of his/her ability to master environmental
demands, and distrustful of significant others. These outcomes affect
a child's development at all levels.
Woman abuse is a terrifying reality for hundreds of thousands of women
from all walks of life in Canada, and around the world. It is therefore
not surprising that the issue of violence in their intimate relationships
came up in our interviews with women, particularly when the stressful
context of their lives is taken into account. While the ways in which
women in a given culture deal with violence against them may differ, the
fact that it exists is chillingly universal. Woman abuse exists in all
cultural and socioeconomic and religious communities. All women face barriers
to leaving their abusive partners. These barriers include fatigue from
daily humiliation, shame that this is happening to them, concern over
the fate of their children, lack of affordable housing or childcare, and
unequal employment opportunities. Immigrant women also face additional
barriers such as fear of police involvement because of racism in Canada
or a history of persecution in their country of origin, fear of deportation,
fear of the response of their community, and for some of them a belief
that marriage is binding until death. The women who spoke with us emphasized
these obstacles to making change and worried about the impact that abuse
has had on their ability to parent.
"My oldest child remembers my husband being physically abusive. He
is really afraid. He says, "I will protect you." I was concerned
that this was affecting the children a lot, so I attended the COPE Parenting
Program. I was conscious that I shouldn't scream at my kids but I still
did it. The program helped. Sometimes I'm concerned that my kids are not
growing up in a family with love and affection. I want the best for them."
(Program Participant, Toronto, ON)
Child abuse is a difficult topic to broach because of how emotionally
loaded it is. Yet most of the mothers and service providers interviewed
brought it up during their interviews even though they were not directly
asked about it. Many of them were frustrated by to the racism and systemic
discrimination behind assumptions that abuse occurs in all immigrant and
refugee families. Many of them are faced with children who threaten to
call the authorities if they even tell them what to do and authorities
who are more likely to jump to conclusions regarding child abuse because
they are newcomers. Some of the parents interviewed did admit to coming
from cultures where physical discipline is considered an acceptable way
of raising children. They understand, however, that it is not considered
acceptable in Canada, and would like to learn about alternatives.
For those women who spoke of violence in their adult relationships, their
own negative experiences of early attachment in their families of origin
often came up in the same conversations. They spoke of the cycle of violence
that carried on from one generation to the next, and of their struggle,
often without support, to break that cycle.
With all that said, it is critical to emphasize that children are a vulnerable
group that needs protection. Child abuse jeopardizes the development of
secure attachment during early childhood and thus has long-term effects
on children's mental health. And child abuse is not exclusive to immigrant
and refugee families - child abuse happens across cultures and is never
acceptable. It always requires intervention but that intervention needs
to incorporate consideration of families' cultural context and migration
experience in order to be most effective. In addition to intervention,
programs need to focus on prevention of child abuse, working within the
complex context of immigrant and refugee families' lives.
As mentioned repeatedly throughout this toolkit, immigrants and refugees
often have to deal with the many challenges facing them without the support
of extended family, and community that they are accustomed to. Many of
them have lost family and friends in wars, or have left them behind in
their countries of origin. Many of their family members and friends are
scattered all over the world, or live spread apart in Canada.
"Only my family can support me because I remember when I had my daughter,
my family, my sister, my friends came to see me to help me.... It was
very helpful to me. My sister, my friends came...I felt very good."
(Program Participant, Halifax, NS)
"You have your extended family in your homeland but here you are
by yourself. There, our extended family looks after our children. Here
we have to get a babysitter, but we have no money."
(Program Participant, Vancouver, BC)
Even when immigrant and refugee families are trying to establish another
social network to replace the one that they have lost, they find it to
be a difficult and lengthy process.
"Making a new start is difficult. We make only friends who speak
the same language.Friends are an important factor. We want to know more
friends here but we're scared. It is challenging as a mature adult to
make friends in Canada. After a few years, you make friends, but it's
not like at home where we have known our friends since children. Here
we don't feel secure because we don't know people for that long, even
people of the same culture/language."
(Program Participant, Vancouver, BC)
Mothers expressed a lack of knowledge of the programs and services available
to them or how to gain access to them. Many of them have come from countries
where such formal support programs and services are non-existent. Many
of them did not need such services in their countries of origin, where
they spoke the language and knew the system, and may not have faced challenges
such as living in poverty and inability to find employment.
"There's one thing. People don't know much about MISA. I didn't hear
about MISA...I didn't know about MISA until one day my friend told me
'I'm going to MISA.' I said, 'What are you doing in MISA?'. She told me
'I'm going to English classes. I didn't need English classes so I didn't
go to MISA for one year. Later on I knew that MISA was good for many aspects.
To get work, to know what is the country, to know the laws and the regulations,
and to have resources, and to ...use my potential."
(Program Participant, Halifax, NS)
Even when newcomers are aware of formal support services available to
them in Canada, many of them do not feel comfortable seeking formal support
for 'family issues'.
The concept of counselling is often foreign to them as in their countries
of origin, one does not go to 'strangers' to discuss personal matters
and get support. In addition, women may be particularly uncomfortable
seeking services to address their experiences of abuse.
"People at home don't look for people to talk about problems with.
They talk to family and friends but won't go to someone who specializes
in that."
(Program Participant, Hamilton, ON)
In addition, being accustomed to having family members and friends care
for their children, many of them do not feel comfortable having strangers
look after their children.
"You don't have to worry when you are at home with your family because
your mother, your sister, your aunt is going to look after her. But here
you have to leave your child with strangers. That is very difficult..."
(Program Participant, Edmonton, AB)
To support and promote effective cross-cultural attachment practices in your overall programming it is critical to create inclusive environments and programs. The following are some concrete suggestions:
While North American service providers work with particular models for child development which are sound and accepted in the West, parents come to North America from other parts of the world with strong cultural understandings of child development that have long histories to them. A two-way exchange of knowledge with parents can produce a mutual enrichment that ultimately benefits the child in question.
Here are some concrete examples of activities:
|
Free childcare may make the difference between whether parents and families living in poverty can access services or not. Whether services are located in a rural or urban setting, transportation is a critical factor to ensuring that families are able to fully participate in programs. For newcomers who settle initially in large urban settings, using the public transportation system can feel intimidating. Providing easy-to-use maps that provide clear, low level English directions is important. Maps that are available in languages spoken by newcomer communities are especially helpful if they are available or can be created. Accompanying individuals and/or groups of participants on local public transportation routes and identifying key places of interest can provide practical support. Programs that focus on reaching isolated families need to consider costs of transportation and allocating public transportation tickets as part of a budget. Ideally, having staff pay an initial visit to families' homes is an effective method of building trust and getting to know families. Accompanying parents to other health and social service agencies for their first visits can also be of crucial help as they adjust to life in a new country.
"My reason for being here is Changing Together. I volunteer here.
People are willing to show you where everything is. There are no barriers.
In other places, people ask, 'Does she know what she's doing?' Here, people
are from all over."
(Program Participant, Edmonton, AB)
In order to provide a truly accessible health and social service environment it is essential to have staff who represent the cultural make-up of the community. Sometimes newcomers may not have Canadian experience or professional qualifications for health and social service disciplines. More often, their impressive qualifications and experience are not recognized and valued in Canada. It is critical that agencies put time, energy, and financial resources into equitable hiring practices.
It is important to provide opportunities for immigrants and refugees to gain the necessary skills and experience to participate in decisions that affect their lives. Providing opportunities for parents to volunteer in order to build new skills and share their experience is as important as the services offered. Program participants can build on their experience as volunteers and seek positions where they can effectively serve their communities because of their intimate understanding of the experience of migration and resettlement.
"I'm working with the communities. I started taking parenting courses
at drop-in-centres and I learned so many things from them, and then I
decided to be involved in the community. So I've been taking different
courses, for instance, Nobody's Perfect for facilitators.I took a training
called Education on Prevention of Wife Assault, facilitating for Spanish-speaking
people...You feel great when you can do something for the community. Because
I can understand how they feel when they came here and they didn't have
any support, and I've been through that already, so it's a good feeling
when you can do that, but like I said, it's a process. When you're ready...you'll
be able to help your friends and your family and your community."
(Program Participant, Toronto, ON)
If an organization or agency does not already have anti-oppression policies in place, work together as a staff group with volunteer and program participant input to develop policies that are uniquely suited to the organization. Use policies developed by other organizations as starting points.
Post a plain language version of the anti-oppression policy in English and other languages that are spoken in the community. Introduce the policy to program participants in all areas of programming from individual counselling to group workshops. When opportunities arise, gently remind and educate individuals about the policy and challenge perceptions, comments, expressions, or behaviours that may be discriminatory or prejudicial in nature. This helps to create a safe space for all staff, volunteers, and program participants.
Here
is a concrete example of an opportunity to challenge comments:
|
At the beginning of each staff meeting, provide space for an 'anti-oppression check-in'. This allows all staff members to share incidents of discrimination they have experienced or witnessed within the work setting or the larger community. Staff members are given the opportunity to have their experiences heard and in addition become aware of the frequency and extent of discrimination that occurs. As the process evolves, staff may seek support or feedback from the group, and/or ask for suggestions on how to respond the next time a similar incident takes place.
Have staff take turns delivering workshops to each other on particular forms of discrimination, such as racism, and homophobia. This can lead to the processing of past experiences of hurt as a result of discrimination and to much learning and growth amongst the staff group. In particular, important strategies for intervention when faced with discrimination may emerge. If the staff group prefers, consider hiring an outside facilitator for such workshops. After staff members have experienced them, consider offering similar workshops to volunteers and program participants.
Working
towards an environment free of oppression is a process that takes a lot
of time and hard work. Even for those who have done a lot of work in the
area of anti-oppression and made a lot of progress, there is always more
to learn and more to be done.
Ensure that a formal complaint protocol is in place for staff, volunteers
and program participants to use if they have an experience within the
organization that is not in line with the anti-oppression policy. Consider
any such complaints as opportunities to redress oppressive experiences
and learn how to prevent staff, volunteers or program participants from
having similar experiences in the future.
It is critical to create supportive environments and programs by responding to the unique needs of program participants. It is important to provide emotional support and mental health related services within a cross-cultural framework, both at the individual and group levels. The following are some suggestions for ensuring supportive environments and programs.
Some mothers may just want a chance and some space to relax in order to deal with chronic stress, anxiety, pain, and trauma. Because women do not often get time to focus on themselves and time to care for themselves, teaching relaxation techniques in a safe space and providing childcare can be a critical part of programming. Such a relaxation group could also act as an entry point to services that newcomer women are not often comfortable seeking certain types of support (e.g. individual counselling).
As
mothers are most often the main caregivers of children, it is critical
to provide child-care support in order that they may access health and
social support services. Ensuring that free childcare is available to
all families attending programs will help to make programs and services
accessible to all parents.
Newcomer families often have no respite from their child-care responsibilities
because of the lack of extended family or support base within their community.
The provision of short-term parent relief that is flexible can offer parents
an opportunity to take a break, do something good for themselves, attend
a class, or visit a friend. Such support can make a large difference in
the lives of newcomer families.
The nature of childcare offered, and the diversity of childcare staff
employed are important issues because of the long-lasting impact of children's
early experiences. In their countries of origin, parents can turn to other
family and community members, other people with similar values, to share
the role of caring for their children. It is important for parents to
feel that there is at least some openness to their beliefs, values, and
practices in an environment they are going to entrust with the care of
their children. When children are cared for in a way that is consistent
with the way they are cared for at home, they are more likely to feel
secure. Hiring staff that reflects the diversity of the children being
cared for is an effective way of providing culturally consistent care.
It is important to follow this and other strategies suggested in this
section within the child-care setting. For example, ensure that the environment
and materials of a child care program reflect the diverse backgrounds
of the children being cared for. This will give them the message that
their diverse backgrounds and identities are valued.
"Home is the basic unit of society. It is very important for the
development of the family and the child."
(Program Participant, Vancouver, BC)
Providing a welcoming environment where new immigrants and refugees feel comfortable and have a sense of belonging is critical in ensuring that programs are accessible and address the unique needs of parents and families who have lost their original homes and are struggling to find new ones. Here are some suggestions for providing a sense of home for program participants.
As many immigrant and refugee parents and families are unaware of the services available to them and/or are uncomfortable accessing formal support services, yet face a heightened need for formal support, outreach is an essential component of programming. Here are some suggestions for initiating outreach to communities:
About
the project
| Beliefs,
Values, & Practices |
Impact of Migration |
Barriers
& Support
| Resource Centre | Research
Report | Francais